Little Red Riding Hood
‘You want to hear my version of Little Red Riding Hood? Well here it is, the true happenings of yesterday:
It was a beautiful fresh spring day and the early morning sun was pouring into my homely rock cave. I decided to walk out my stiff body in the woods.
It was as I was walking down the main path in the woods that I saw a flash of red disappear in the trees ahead of me, I thought to my self, maybe some company on this lovely day might be nice. Quickening my pace I soon caught up too the owner of the red, a velvet cape with a hood, then it hit me, it was none other than Little Red Riding Hood herself!
We chatted as we walked, glad to have each others company. It was when we were deep in the forest I noticed the stunning spring flowers, I mentioned this to her and she said that she must pick some for her grandmother. So Little Red Riding Hood started to pick flowers. Overwhelmed with the beauty of a tulip beside the path, I didn’t notice that Little Red Riding Hood had disappeared until I looked up. Thinking that she had gone on her way, I went on my way too.
It wasn’t long till I came upon a small cottage. An old lady was lying in bed sick. I decided that it would be nice to visit the poor old lady as she looked a bit lonely.
I knocked on the door of the cottage and I heard someone calling me to go in. When I went in, the old lady was doing some knitting and so I joined her, knitting a green and yellow pock-a-dot jumper. I sat on her chair beside her bed with a quilt over me pulled up to my chin, as it was still early morning and reasonably cold.
It was not long till we heard a tap at the door. The old lady, despite me telling her not to in her state, went to put the jug on. Little Red Riding walked into where I was and said to me, “Grandma, my, what big ears you have,”
To this I replied “all the better to hear with dear,”
Then she questioned further, “But Grandma, What big eyes you have!”
I told her the logical reason for this, “all the better to see you with darling”
I couldn’t believe it! She still kept asking questions, “Oh! but why do you have such giant hands?”
By this time, I realised that she mustn’t recognise me, but knew better than to be rude and not answer her! “Honey, it’s all the easier to knit with.”
“But grandma, what huge teeth you have!”
It was insane! What kind of person asks these questions? Never the less I was polite and answered her with, “all the easier to eat my supper with!”
But as soon as I got to saying the word ‘my’ she had run out of the room screaming! I suppose it is an easy mistake to make, thinking that I was going to eat her, but still I’m a vegetarian wolf, so why would I?
I think the local wood cutter must have heard her scream as I soon found myself face to face with him, and not so soon my leg chopped off!!!!!!!!!
So here I am a three legged, vegetarian wolf.
That is the true story of Little Red Riding Hood!
